Having worn my camouflage for leisure,

having fed upon a shale bed’s vapors,

having licked my wounds with glacial pleasure,

having found out what of a child’s I could own,

having known what the child would buy back later,

having lectured on gut health for industry leaders,

having liked the energy I brought to the role,

having fashioned a lean-to for my taxes,

having toured the ward beds with compassion,

having recorded my children on laughing gas,

having shared this to make my senator laugh,

having laughed myself and made the sloshing sound,

having lapped at the sides of my poison jug,

having thought myself universally beloved,

having saved my skin cells from a Lifetouch comb,

having managed the whole life cycle of my product,

then grafted my face to the last living cherub’s,

to hear men sing now I care not.