I will not, though I would, resolve,
As the New Year’s Eve comes on,
To do, not do, review, revolve
On the past year, how it has gone,
Taking not all, but still enough
(Seeing I had not much to lose)
Of what, for all my falling off,
Might have been mine, as then, to use:
But if I cast off heaviness,
This is my burden, none the less.
I would no more, as I have done,
Consider what the year will bring
But take the seasons one by one;
For, all in all, the heaviest thing
—Excepting only no more hope—
Is hope returning year on year:
Let me not give it now the scope
Of what I might do, for I fear
That if it cast off heaviness,
This is my burden, none the less.
I care no more for this I might,
Whether it comes as would or should:
The first is nothing if not light,
Yet it has weighed me down for good;
And how much heavier, come to naught,
As I have found, the other is:
Lightness that ponders what it ought
Weighs like its own antithesis:
But when I cast off heaviness,
This is my burden, none the less.
Aisha Sabatini Sloan
Episode 22: “Form and Formlessness”
In an essay specially commissioned for the podcast, Aisha Sabatini Sloan describes rambling around Paris with her father, Lester Sloan, a longtime staff photographer for Newsweek, and a glamorous woman who befriends them. In an excerpt from The Art of Fiction no. 246, Rachel Cusk and Sheila Heti discuss how writing her first novel helped Cusk discover her “shape or identity or essence.” Next, Allan Gurganus’s reading of his story “It Had Wings,” about an arthritic woman who finds a fallen angel in her backyard, is interspersed with a version of the story rendered as a one-woman opera by the composer Bruce Saylor. The episode closes with “Dear Someone,” a poem by Deborah Landau.
Rachel Cusk photo courtesy the author.
Subscribe for free: Stitcher | Apple Podcasts | Google Play